With the hope of expanding our geriatric population at the California primate center, I was sent down to Puerto Rico to screen rhesus monkeys from the Cayo Santiago colony for ocular diseases. Melody dropped me off at the airport on Sunday evening, right after we discovered spots on Westley’s torso that were highly suspicious for the new hand-foot-mouth disease epidemic at his daycare. Luckily, my in-laws were already prepared to help out while I was away, which made it easier for me to say goodbye. Along with the veterinarian traveling with me, we boarded our red-eye to Atlanta, and after a giant Qdoba breakfast burrito, we arrived in sunny San Juan. To ensure their safe arrival, I carried the eye equipment with me as we picked up our car rental and drove to our hotel. From the concierge’s recommendation, we went to nearby Ropa Vieja Grill, which served up hearty white bean soup and pulled-steak mofongo. After our late lunch, we were picked up from our hotel to head to Fajardo, where our Bio-Bay kayak tour awaited. We were glad to catch the earlier tour, as we got to appreciate the sunset while paddling through the mangroves, watch some plankton luciferase activity in the waters, and only struggled on the return trip, where the heavy currents and pitch-black visibility led to multiple wrong turns and collisions. By the time we returned to the hotel, we were cold, completely soaked, and had missed our dinner reservation. Refusing to call it a night, I took a hot shower and wento the hotel restaurant for some shrimp mofongo which was surprisingly satisfying. On Tuesday, we arrived at the secluded Caribbean primate center bright and early, and managed to finish screening all the animals by lunch, and was able to tour the facilities and appreciate the surrounding flora. In the evening, we ventured to old San Juan to explore El Morro, which was littered with stray cats, large iguanas, and stranded kites. For dinner, we got the tasting menu at Marmalade, where chef Peter Schintler served up a delectable ahi poke appetizer, although the rabbit mac n’cheese and seared tuna with foie gras on curried lentils both sounded better than they tasted. We finished even earlier on Wednesday, but I was glad to get in a nap before dinner at Santaella, which included a baby octopus casserole and a red snapper with pineapple chimichurri and tostones which were both somewhat uninspired. We finished screening the last animals on Thursday, just in time for my afternoon flight home. I had to be back for Friday clinic, and sadly could not join the other researchers to visit the island itself, where the free-ranging colony resides. The return flight was rough, as I began developing a sore throat and shaking chills, which I tried to treat with hot coffee that kept me up for three consecutive in-flight movies. It was hard at the moment to imagine what I was going home to, but it was about to get much worse.